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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal traits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {