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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?